Oh it's been a while (more than a while, actually). My last post here was 2021, and I agree that I was such a lazy writer for ignoring this blog for that long. But here I am! Writing down my thoughts and taking some of my time to sit down - relax - and pour my heart to start writing again. 

So - where have I been? Though question but here's the long answer. I've been here and there but mostly I was surviving days and juggling between works and family. A TON has happened in the past couple months, some family events, some career ups and downs, new friendships, some traveling, and some goals for this year. 

But the highlight is, life recently has been.. a blessing.

I am counting my blessings everyday for the health I have now, given the uncertain situation and how people are losing their loved ones. I am a mom, so I do need to stay healthy for my son and my family. 

I am counting my blessings everyday for the family and friends I have now. I am blessed to have a family who is supportive, who hold my hand through hard times, and to have a son, who is always, always, always, my source of happiness and my source of life. I am reaching out to lots of friends in the last couple months, you know, you need to check on your friends sometimes. I made times to meet them, to catch up, and honestly it also helped boost my energy. I made new friendships, I have some more people on my quick dials, the ones who I can count on. 

I am counting my blessings everyday for the job I have now. The job that let me be myself, let me do my thing in my way, and gives me a flexible time, to be able to juggle with all the housework and mom-life that I have. The job that is always exciting, always challenging, but at the same time - always giving you a room to grow and learn. 

I am counting my blessings everyday for the life I have now. The life that is flowing, not draining. The life that is near-balanced. It's funny when you think life is taking you in certain way, while on the other hand, it's totally your choice to get where you want to be in life. 

So - back to the question, where have I been? The short answer is - I've lived. 

Hi loves! 

To give you more context on this post - I was looking back at my old posts and I realized I did a lot of monthly favorites posts last time, so here I am, I will start posting again about the things I love every month, from fashion, beauty, music, anything! So let's start. 


I've been wearing this lilac top a bit too much! You might saw it already in the gram, this is actually a thrifted top - only for $6! It's basically a knit tops in very soft lilac color, it is a buttoned up vintage top and have a loose fit. I love it because it's the kind of knitwear that I can wear in daytime and not being too hot in it. I just love how it falls in my body and how comfy it is. The second item that I've been loving is a necklace from Pomelo. I've been wanting a chain necklace, one that is delicate and not come out too bold, and I was also wanting one that is not too 'gold chain-rapper like' necklace. This necklace is perfect, it is in perfect size, not too small and not too big. And it has kinda soft-matte finishing so it is not very glowing gold. I love how this necklace can compliment my outfit well and still being a statement piece. 


For beauty - I've been sticking to my normal routine so far, especially my skin is getting dry during wfh, so I stick with whatever moisturizes my skin. And this combo of toner from NPure & Moisturizer from Joylab is doing their job well! They keep my skin moisturized without leaving it too oily. The smell also so good and not very strong. 
For fragrance, I've been loving EoS from HMNS. My husband got it for me last month for my birthday, and I've been wearing it ever since. The opening smells will get your attention - it is very warm because they have pink pepper and bergamot in it. And after some times, it dries down to a more soft and warm smells, for me the most dominant smell is vanilla in a very warm feelings. I don't usually love a sweet scent, but this one is not too strong so I can cope with it. It's a perfect scent for day and for night! 


There are couple songs that I've been repeating over and over this month, they are: 


I've been taking my time slow - and getting back on my feet on cooking at home! So I've been loving to watch cooking channels and try to cook some recipes after watching it. I loved Marion's Kitchen channel and also Seonkyoung Longest's channel! They have great recipes, most of them are easy to re-create. Mostly I cooked Asians food at home, but sometimes I also cooked Italian or an easy American breakfast and snacks. Please let me know if you have other recommendation for great cooking channels, I'll be happy to watch them! 

So that's all for March, I'll see you in my next post loves! 

With ❤, Kadya. 

Hi, it's been a while.

Okay, where do I start?

It's middle of the day while I type this sentence, and it's been forever since I posted my last post. Turns out it takes me this long to realize that this, writing, chills and relax my mind. So I was thinking to get back into it.

And, where have I been? What am I up to?

It's been some busy months, me - juggling as a mother, as a wife, and as a working woman. But, it's been months full of learning. Learning everything as much as I could, as fast as I could. Well, we moms gotta do what mom gotta do. 2020 has came very, very, hard on me. But, worth it. Now let's start..

Not so baby anymore
So my son is almost 2 years old now! Time flies when you're having fun, and believe me when I say, it's true. It's been 2 amazing years of motherhood, of watching him grows and being with him on each of his milestones. It is a blessed year being his mom, I am so grateful for all the good times.

Learning self-love
I've been hitting high and low during the past few months, especially at work. I was very stressed out and I was not feeling healthy, mentally. Of course it was fun, and I love what I do - but aside, I didn't have enough sleep and I had trouble eating - and there's also tears and anxiety. To put it simple, I didn't live my life as I was supposed to. I don't think the problem is the job, it's just - not a great fit for me anymore. I finally decided to take a little break to give myself a little time, to breathe again and re-gain myself again. It may sounds cliche for some of you, but trust me, it is the opposite for me. I found peace again with myself, I got to do what I've been wanting to do for a while, and I finally be able to enjoy life again. 

So, what's next? 
For now, I will be back online and active - here in my blog. And I have some projects in mind for some contents creations. In the meantime, I will also start to find a new job - one that will let me be me, one that will let me enjoy my life. I really hope it will all go well! 

As much as it was a hard time for me, I can't lie that I have my good times too. I have a lot of helpful friends, I am loved - and I'm enjoying every second I have with my son and my family. That is as much as I can ask for, and I need to be grateful. :)

So - lets be friends again and I'll see you soon in my next post, loves! 

With ❤, Kadya Kei.  

If you ask me what its like being a mother? I'll answer - it's a mess. A beautiful, wonderful, mess. 

The first 2 weeks was the hardest. I feel like I couldn't sleep, all I did was breastfed my baby, put him to sleep, and I felt like my life was taken away from me. 

It sometimes feels like suddenly, you're all alone again. It sort of feels like you've been preparing this unbelievable wonderful meal, and everyone is enjoying it in the dining room, and you find yourself eating alone in the kitchen. It feels like everyone will talk about the meal, not the chef. It feels like everyone will ask about the baby, not the mom. It feels like your life is now centered around him, and everyone forget to ask how it feels to keep everything centered. 

I myself, luckily have a support system that I can count on. My husband has been very supporting and my family helps me take care of the baby. Beside that, I tried to packed in some time to write a blog. In the meantime, I put on some face mask and ordered my favourite food. I tried to take care of myself as much as I take care of my baby. Even self care is a small reminder of self love, and will keep me sane. 

We all -mothers- need something that can reminds the mother that she is still her, and who she is and always has been, that her new baby is a new aspect to her life, not the obliteration to her identity. 

So I'll say - ask the mama, how is she feeling, how can we help her, what does she need. See if we can help the new mother to feel like herself again. To feel supported and loved. 

To this day I dealt with all of these on my own, not fully recovered and not fully figured out, but slowly getting there. 
Seeing his tiny smile and hearing his soft little laughs, I know I'll get there. 🖤

Stepping into early of my 38th weeks, I began to feel severe pains in my belly. And the pain was getting stronger overnight. Thinking that my body would go into labor soon, we made our way to the hospital at 10 AM, nearly just 15hrs after the first contraction. And yes, the doctor said the baby will be here soon, like, today. 

We were both in shock because we didn't expect it to be so soon. We were excited but we didn't know what to do just yet. We couldn't believe that on that exact day - we will meet our baby for the first time. We will be parents. We were very, very nervous but also very excited at the same time. 

On that day, the doctor said that the baby was tangled by its cord so I decided to have a c-section to minimize the trauma. Oh well - all mothers have choices and we all are mothers anyway. The doctor decided to do the operation at 1 PM. I was so nervous. 

That day, my body went through everything I never thought I'm capable of. It feels surreal. But once I hear that tiny voice crying, my tears broke down and I can't help but smiling ear to ear. My little baby B is here. The one who I've carried for the last 9 months. The one who I've always wondered how he'd look like, how tiny is he, how wonderful is he. And the one who finally- completes my life. And for once, my heart is full.

26.05.2019 01:27 PM
Hello, Ananda Baradjiwa. 🖤